Friday, February 29, 2008

He knows my name

What a song! It has been a while since I heard this wonderful song... He knows my name... My every thoughts, He sees when my teardrop falls and He hears me when I call...

I'm not so young nor too old as I type on... Why am I saying this? I'm infanticipating with this tiny wittle baby inside my womb! I can't help the crystal drops of my tears as they flood along my reddened cheeks and landed to my popping belly...I suddenly got back to my senses; this bean with an unknown face, yet unknown name... GOD knows her name... she is His from the very moment I conceived her! How comforting to know that all along, someone has been watching her inside me, the same way He did me.

I'll never forget the day I nearly have lost her. As I carry her, on my 6th week, I bled which seemed like letting go; it was horrendous to have waited for 2 and a half years for her to finally be an embryo to just be even more horrified by such turmoil... NO! I can't lose her! But then again, what if she was just a passing through?, That quick, that swift to say hi and then adieu?! We prayed... harder and harder... The gush of blood inside me was forceful and unstoppable for days. What does God have in mind? What are His plans? Ahhh! He knows everything! This is not gonna be done without His sovereign reasoning (I gasped!). I had to hold on; I asked Him to increase my faith, to be ready for HIS will...both of us - my husband and I.

The scenario kept going until it reached two weeks. I quit my job and stayed at home as advised by my OB physician. It was even more difficult to wait for the blood to stop while I'm doing nothing. I felt helpless, lonely, and useless having been used to working all the time. I felt so confined and as though being punished. But it was the time I was driven closer to GOD... He calmed my spirit and comforted me; and told me that in His economy, nothing is wasted. In His calendar, His plans will be accomplished with His purposes. He talked to me and I talked back... We enjoyed each other. He assured me of how my baby is safe in HIS loving arms, that He breathes on her and shields her from any harm as she is special - the child we prayed for, we and many others asked for.

God said... I have a wonderful plan for her... she'll come out as I have planned. She'll be my child and she shall call ME Father. I know my children and I hear their cry...I know their names. Hang on and trust ME...Then I sighed.

This song reminded me of How He said those words echoing in my mind. He knows my name as He knows my baby - more than I do.

I can't wait for the homecoming of this little girl, my special little one! I'm sure we have a lot of things in common, we have the same MAKER, we felt the same gush of blood running and pumping inside me,... ahhhh three more months...Yes, God's preparing us for that!

Here goes the lyrics of the song, He Know My Name by Tommy Walker:

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in His hand


He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

Isn't that just comforting?! I hope when you hear this song, you'll feel, as special as I still feel right now; safe and secured in the palm of HIs hands. My baby is... she's always been safe. This is her 25th week now and so far, she's found to be so healthy inside me bouncing and kicking! We'll keep you all posted with her life story - our miracle baby.

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